Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Changing Miri Skyline

On the far end, you can see that Miri is developing at a very fast pace! That is Marina Bay area. Lots of shops are coming up. 
I hope to shoot more pictures of the area and post them here!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Piasau Nature Reserve

After much uncertainty at the beginning, the state government of Sarawak finally approved and gazetted the former Piasau Camp into a Nature Reserve. Last weekend, we saw the earth breaking ceremony by the governor of Sarawak.
 Signing ceremony ... it is official now!
 There is an exhibition hall... all the wallpaper photos (with the exception of one with a huge frog) were taken using my Hasselblad medium format camera. Photos were taken together with Lo of Median Lab.


If you think you wanted the wall paper for your home, please do let me know!

More photos can be viewed on my facebook photography page.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.700408490026098.1073741840.163457400387879&type=3

Monday, April 28, 2014

More scam warning ....

Another warning from me....

I just got a call from a bank.

A recorded message is played and told me that I have a transaction outstanding which needs approval, or something like that. There is no physical person talking but instructed me to press various numbers for ....

As usual, I couldn't understand the message due to poor recording and I hangup.

My wife told me that there is such a scam. As reported in the local newspaper, a businessman received such a call and was conned not long ago by following the instructions to press certain number which led to the leaking of personal information. Apparently, the conman has knowledge of some of his personal information (IC, account number, etc) which made the call very convincing.

Upon checking, we found that the telephone number displayed on my mobile is a valid 24-hour number from the bank on their website. So, is this an inside job or is it some high tech conman who can replicate another phone number?

Please be warned and share this message if you wish. Remember, never give out personal information over the phone.

p/s: Be warned about the scam regarding some Shell lucky draw.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Graduation Photography Services for Curtin University Sarawak

Curtin University graduation is coming up round the corner. As for this year, there are many who asked me to take graduation photo for them. After looking through the price offered to them, no wonder many are looking outside. However, there is just one issue... the package offered by the official photographer bundle the certificate presentation with their graduation portrait. As a matter of fact, the certificate presentation photo is considered non essential in all oversea universities which I came across. No one is allowed to take those photos and only the official photographer, standing at one corner. But, no one actually asked to order the photo! So, if we can break this barrier of viewing this certificate presentation as unimportant, then whether the photo is bundled or not becomes unimportant.

I have approached Curtin to let me use one of their lecture rooms so that I can set up my studio. So far, this has been rejected because of obvious reason.... as I request too late!

With or without studio, I have no big problem to turn a photo taken literally anywhere into studio style... as long as I am the one taking it! Someone told me that their hair will all be "trimmed"! No worry... this is the smallest problem I need to worry about as it can be seen from the sample photos below.

Studio style photos where you may choose one of the available backgrounds I have:
The family of my friend taken outside the graduation hall!
The photos above were taken just outside the graduation hall. I have to turn this into "studio style" shooting, perhaps with the hope that the result is even better than those taken in studio.

The photos below were taken outside and I turned them into studio style:
This is my eldest daughter, Esther. 

This is my youngest daughter, Janice.

Photos taken outside with nature and with friends:











Pricing:

i) Packages:
Package A: two 8Rs of the same graduand (eg: self + family) + high quality frame + 2 4R + soft copy of images.

Package B: two 11Rs of the same graduand + high quality frame + 2 4R + soft copy of image.

ii) Non-package:
  1. Studio style: 8R (8"x12") (laminated + editing for up to 3 persons)
  2. Non-studio style: Portrait taken outside around the university 8R: (laminated, no editing
Please msg me on facebook for prices.

Notes: 
  • Other sizes are available.
  • If printing beyond 16"x24" is required, please inform me in advance, ie, before shooting to ensure excellent printing quality.
  • Booking: Please book with me on 012 8782007 or 012 302 0178 or facebook.com/williamting99.
  • Outstation delivery: Separate charge for PosLaju.
  • Full payment in cash during ordering
  • Delivery can be up to three weeks.

Con man on the loose in Sarawak ... beware!

A word of warning to everyone:

There is a gang of con man (骗子)and con women who work in group of 3-4. I was told that there are 3 women and a man. 

First, one of them will approach you and talk to you. Once you look into the eyes, somehow you are hypnotized instantly (催眠) and from then on, you will just follow instruction!!

They will ask you to withdraw money. When you are at the bank counter, a woman (one of the gang members) will hit your shoulder - from there on, you will follow everything she said including withdrawing everything you have!

You will remain in a daze for up to 3 days not knowing what you have done!!!

A friend in Miri was conned of RM100K! So be warned of this gang! This friend of mine knew about not looking into the eyes!! And yet got conned!

In today's paper, there is one case in Bintulu (RM64K)and one in Sibu (RM39+K). They take both jewelry and cash! They will get you to withdraw even fixed deposit!

Share this warning out so that more people are aware of it. Perhaps, you shouldn't carry your bank book, too many ATM cards and FD certificates with you! Perhaps as precaution, you should leave FD cert with someone you trust.

24-April-2014

Saturday, March 08, 2014

The Day My Neighbourhood Disappear

I just realised that it has been almost three month since I last update a post here. I have been on hiatus as my right arm had been in severe pain and hence I hardly took any photos, could hardly type and cannot hold a mouse to edit any photo. Never mind, that is behind me now! I am now back!
Yesterday, my son took the picture below. We saw a huge smog moving across the sea line in Miri. Someone had been doing open burning again!
Yesterday!
This morning, pungent smell and ....
I looked out of my balcony and my neighbourhood disappeared! This is not the magic of David Copperfield!
Visibility is at a very dangerous level. Will all flights be cancelled this morning?
Yesterday, we saw Anwar being sentenced to 5 years jail for alleged sodomy. One commentators said that it should not even be a crime. But whatever, we shall see whether anyone is being charged for open burning here!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

你悟出道理了嗎

 你悟出道理了嗎
一天,一個小和尚跑過來,請教禪師:“師父,我人生最大的價值是什麼呢?”禪師說:“你到後花園搬一塊大石頭,拿到菜市場上去賣,假如有人問價,你不要講話,只伸出兩個指頭;假如他跟你還價,你不要賣,抱回來,師父告訴你,你人生最大的價值是什麼。”
  
第二天一大早,小和尚抱塊大石頭,到菜市場上去賣。菜市場上人來人往,人們很好奇,一家庭主婦走了過來,問:“石頭多少錢賣呀?”和尚伸出了兩個指頭,主婦說:“2元錢?”和尚搖搖頭,家庭主婦說:“那麼是20元?好吧,好吧!我剛好拿回去壓酸菜。”小和尚聽到:“我的媽呀,一文不值的石頭居然有人出20元錢來買!我們山上有的是呢!”
於是,小和尚沒有賣,樂呵呵地去見師父:“師父,今天有一個家庭主婦願意出20元錢,買我的石頭。師父,您現在可以告訴我,我人生最大的價值是什麼了嗎?”禪師說:“嗯,不急,你明天一早,再把這塊石頭拿到博物館去,假如有人問價,你依然伸出兩個指頭;如果他還價,你不要賣,再抱回來,我們再談。”
  
第二天早上,在博物館裏,一群好奇的人圍觀,竊竊私語:“一塊普通的石頭,有什麼價值擺在博物館裏呢?”“既然這塊石頭擺在博物館裏,那一定有它的價值,只是我們還不知道而已。”這時,有一個人從人群中竄出來,沖著小和尚大聲說:“小和尚,你這塊石頭多少錢賣啊?”小和尚沒出聲,伸出兩個指頭,那個人說:“200元?”小和尚搖了搖頭,那個人說:“2000元就2000元吧,剛好我要用它雕刻一尊神像。”小和尚聽到這裏,倒退了一步,非常驚訝!
他依然遵照師傅的囑託,把這塊石頭抱回了山上,去見師傅:“師傅,今天有人要出2000元買我這塊石頭,這回您總要告訴我,我人生最大的價值是什麼了吧?”禪師哈哈大笑說:“你明天再把這塊石頭拿到古董店去賣,照例有人還價,你就把它抱回來。這一次,師傅一定告訴你,你人生最大的價值是什麼。”
  
第三天一早,小和尚又抱著那塊大石頭來到了古董店,依然有一些人圍觀,有一些人談論:“這是什麼石頭啊?在哪兒出土的呢?是哪個朝代的呀?是做什麼用的呢?”終於有一個人過來問價:“小和尚,你這塊石頭多少錢賣啊?”小和尚依然不聲不語,伸出了兩個指頭。“20000元?”小和尚睜大眼睛,張大嘴巴,驚訝地大叫一聲:“啊?!”那位客人以為自己出價太低,氣壞了小和尚,立刻糾正說:“不!不!不!我說錯了,我是要給你200000元!” “200000元!”小和尚聽到這裏,立刻抱起石頭,飛奔回山上去見師父,氣喘吁吁地說:“師父,師父,這下我們可發達了,今天的施主出價200000元買我們的石頭!現在您總可以告訴我,我人生最大的價值是什麼了吧?”
  
禪師摸摸小和尚的頭,慈愛地說:“孩子啊,你人生最大的價值就好像這塊石頭,如果你把自己擺在菜市場上,你就只值20元錢;如果你把自己擺在博物館裏,你就值2000元;如果你把自己擺在古董店裏,你值200000元!平臺不同,定位不同,人生的價值就會截然不同!”
  
這個故事是否啟發了你對自己人生的思考?你將如何定位自己的人生呢?你準備把自己擺在怎樣的人生拍賣場去拍賣呢?你要為自己尋找一個怎樣的人生舞臺呢?
不怕別人看不起你,就怕你自己看不起自己。誰說你沒有價值?除非你把自己當作破石頭放在爛泥中,沒有人能夠給你的人生下任何的定義。你選擇怎樣的道路,將決定你擁有怎樣的人生。
說的太好了。受教。

Friday, December 13, 2013

The 8-ball Tournament at Island Country Club

The final of the 8-Ball Pool Tournament was held at the Island Country Club, Miri, last weekend. We saw some of the very good players from around Sarawak and Brunei. The first prize money was around RM1000 at the beginning of the tournament. However, someone fattened the final prize to RM2500!
The finalists posed with the host, Henry, on the left and the event organiser Nigel on the right.
I think she was one of the only lady player and I should say that she played very well.
 Teddy, one of the finalists.
 Danny Pang from Bintulu delivered the final killer winning ball!
 The proud runner-up Teddy Wong from Miri.
The champion, Danny Pang from Bintulu.

This was the first time I did photoshoot in this sort of environment. I am very sensitive to smoke and luckily I wore a mask throughout the evening! Hahaha ....

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A month has passed ...

When one is busy, time really flies! I just realised that it has been just over a month since I last did my update here. Ok, I have been working my butt off lately and I have also been very busy upgrading my own skill in order to be able to do my job even better!

Over the last one month, I suffered one system disk corruption! This disk corruption render my working horse dead and non functional for nearly a week. Fortunately, I did a 100% backup of all my photos which is a good 400GB! However, some very important Java scripts I have written for my Photoshop were mysteriously "lost". All the Actions I created for Photoshop were gone! This is minor because I can easily recreate them, except that this time, it is better than the last one. One other thing is that I have rewritten one Java Script which is now some 20 times faster than my last one!

Talking about data backup, I have always advice everyone to print their photos, especially those important ones. I keep hearing from friends that they lost many years of digital photos collection. So, you either backup or print some of them. This is probably a blessing and also a curse (depending on whether a disk crash happen to you or not) of digital photography and smart phone.

Ok, for those who are interested to do backup, read this article here and choose a software to automatically do backup for you!

BTW, if you are interested in long lasting prints, especially 4R, and printed using Epson inkjet printer, please contact me. The paper I use is ultra glossy which can survive soaking in plain water.I don't know of any commercial printer using inkjet to print 4R photos.

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

10 motivational quotes from Zig Ziglar

I just realised that it was a month ago since I last make an entry here. I have been too busy lately. So, here is something to motivate you from Zig Ziglar:

10 quotes from Zig Ziglar that have the power to completely change the direction of one’s life:
10) “Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”
9) “You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”
8 ) “People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
7) “There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.”
6) “People don’t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.”
5) “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”
4) “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”
3) “A goal properly set is halfway reached.”
2) “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”
1) “If you can dream it, you can achieve it.”

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Final day of Asia Music Festival at Eastwood

Today is the last opportunity for you to see live performances from around Asia. Below is the latest schedule:

4.00 pm to 5.00 pm                -           The Mountain Wind Band (Malaysia)
5.15 pm to 6.15 pm                -           Melissa Francis (Malaysia)
6.15 pm to 7.15 pm                -           Starlets Band (Malaysia)
7.30 pm to 8.30 p.m               -           Fakhrul Razi featuring the
Camouflage (Brunei Darussalam)
8.45 pm to 9.45 pm                -           Boy Thai Band (Thailand)
10.00 pm to 11.00 pm            -           Antoney Dassan Yen Party (India)

11.15 p.m. to 12.15 pm          -           Foxy Girls (Indonesia)


Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Music lovers, are you ready for this weekend AMT at Eastwood?

This coming weekend, Miri will resonate with the sound of music as the inaugural Asia Music Festival takes place at the Eastwood Valley Golf & Country Club on the 4 & 5 October 2013. 13 Asian bands from the Philippines, Korea, India, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and Brunei have confirmed to perform at this festival. Among them will be Tritha from India.


Tritha was born in Kolkata. She started training in North Indian classical music at the age of five, and never stopped. She has forged her own unique, inclusive sound and has already gained critical and popular acclaim for her songs. Tritha’s dusky tones and throbbing intensity, vibrating and moving emotional commitment, thrills her audience and leaves the public spell bound.

Make sure you are there at Eastwood. It starts at 4:00PM all the way till midnight!

About Asia Music Festival (AMF):
AMF is a 2-day musical event featuring artist and musicians from Asian countries namely from India, Korea, Indonesia, Brunei Philippines and Malaysia. AMF promotes music, art and culture of Asian countries. AMF has a vision to become the iconic musical event for Sarawak and the region. It is organized by Sarawak Tourism Board, supported by the Ministry of Tourism Malaysia and Ministry of Tourism Sarawak and endorsed by Tourism Malaysia.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Are you a fresh graduate and interested in O&G training?

Technology Specialist in Specific Domain Expertise (TeSSDE) is a structured 9-month program, designed to prepare new graduate engineers for working in specific high technology and high-impact industries. Working closely with industrial partners, this program seeks to accelerate the learning of engineers by providing access to industrial-relevant training and support for them to stay aligned with the current development of human capital in these industries.

THE BEST PART IS THAT THIS PROGRAMME IS FREE!

To find out more, click on the link here. Make sure you download the pdf file and find out the requirements!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Forgotten History of Sybil Kathigasu

Sybil, a heroic woman freedom fighter for the then Malaya against the Japanese. She became the only Malayan woman to receive the George Medal for Gallantry, a high civilian honour given by King George VI. But alas, the Malaysian history mentioned nothing of her and others like Sgt Hassan, Lieutenant Adnan and Iban hero Kanang.

Do read up more about heroes like her... the story is very touching! Or just watch the video below:

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

We need your vote to give our Miri boy a chance to go into space!

Indeed, this is a chance of a lifetime and a chance of a lifetime for you to be able to vote for Anthony Vue, our local Miri boy, currently studying in Belfast Queen's University, for his challenge to beat the rest of the four contestants in Malaysia to represent Malaysia.
His facebook name is Ishyhara Rio and make sure that you don't vote the wrong person!

If you wish to know more, continue reading below:

INFORMATION:

Lynx is offering the chance to travel into space with the launch of its 2013 Lynx Apollo range.
The Unilever brand is looking to put the Lynx Effect into orbit by giving people the chance to win place on a space trip, in support of the launch of its new 2013 fragrance. 
There will be 22 places up for grabs globally, with the competition running in 77 countries around the world.. 
Entry was done through the lynxapollo.com website. The top voted candidates will go forward to the Lynx Space Academy for a challenge weekend in each national states respectively, whittling down the candidates with a further Global space camp in Florida before the final winning astronaut is picked.

The stages:
Stage 1: Online voting through lynxapollo.com.
The link is the following: https://www2.axeapollo.com/en_MY/144201/choon-wei-vun  (This voting link was done/ finished)
(Each country will select different number of candidates to compete at National level depending on the size of the country.)
e.g, UK will select top 200 voted candidates to compete in the UK
(Top 3 to compete in global space camp)
       Malaysia will select top 15 voted candidates to compete in Malaysia
(Top 1 to compete in global space camp)


Stage 2: National Space Camp starts where candidates compete in their own countries respectively to select representatives to compete in Global Space Camp in Florida.
In Malaysia, 28/9 - 30/9,
Physical, Mental and Personality test was done on candidates
40% - Physical + Mental
30% - Personality (interview and relationship with staffs and friends)
Then, Top 5 will be selected to enter round 2 for National competition,
Top 5 will have to compete to conquer for the final 30%
30% - Online Voting (Marketing/ Publishing technique)
(Current stage) 
1. Or Go to Ishyhara Rio Facebook Page
2. Click in the 1st Wall Post: AXE Malaysia Link
3. Vote for Ishyhara Rio

Finally, of 100%, the top mark will be selected as top 1 to represent Malaysia to the Global Space Camp.

Stage 3: 150 Candidates from 77 countries will compete in Florida for Global space camp, where proper astronaut training will be done. (e.g., jet piloting, G-force, Anti-gravity control)
Stage 4: Top 22 Candidates in Global Space Camp will be selected to represent respective countries as astronauts being launched into space.



Global Space Camp trainings
·  Take Off - A flight in a L-39 Albatross
MKII jet that travels at twice the speed
of sound
·  Zero G - A parabolic flight that recreates the weightlessness of space
·  Re-entry - A centrifuge machine that
simulates the same extreme G-Force
astronauts are exposed to
during landing.

Thank you very much for your time,
Anthony Vun Choon Wei (Ishyhara Rio)
MSci in Physics with Astrophysics

Queen's University Belfast

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Camera & lens clearance sales

My distributor gave me just three days to help find buyers. Otherwise, he will ship all the equipment out of Miri. So, if you are interested in any of the item, please let me know asap - +6012 8782007

Best buy is Nikon SB-600 speedlight and Finepix C10 camera!

Nikon 55-300mm f/4.5-5.6G AF-S DX NIKKOR ED VR Zoom Lens  RM1,031
Nikon 24-85mm f/3.5-4.5G ED AF-S VR Nikkor Lens  RM1,520
Nikon 24-70mm f/2.8G Zoom Wide Angle-Telephoto AF-S Zoom Nikkor ED Autofocus Lens RM5,790
Nikon 18-105mm f/3.5-5.6G ED AF-S DX (VR) Vibration Reduction Wide Angle Autofocus Zoom Lens  RM1,170
Nikon 50mm f/1.8D AF Nikkor Autofocus Lens  RM360
Nikon 50mm f/1.4G AF-S Auto Focus Nikkor Lens  RM1,730
Nikon SB-600 Speedlight / Flash RM735

Finepix C10 camera RM250 complete with charger

Monday, August 12, 2013

民舞坊《花言侨语》五周年舞展

Did you miss the show last night? Tonight is the last show from our own talented Kelvin Bong.


Picture from last night can be found here:
《民舞坊》舞蹈工作坊 ~ 『花言侨语』 五周年舞展 第二场
日期:2013年8月12日(星期一)
地点:美里民事中心三楼
时间:7:30pm

Flowers Talk at the library, 3rd floor, 7:30PM.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.565802150153400.1073741834.163457400387879&type=1&l=6da5f1f5d8

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

HAHAHA ... Can you become your own grandfather and also your own grandson?

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems. Shot after shot. The Indian man said to the

American: "We have problem in India. We can't marry the one whom we love. You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely and domesticated girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love. I told my parents that openly and now have a hell of a lot of family problems."

The American said: "Talking about love marriages, in America we can marry the one we love. Let me tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated her for three years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems?"

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Such close shave!

This is an amazing video showing some of the most amazing close shave! Watch this video and see for yourself.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

For a good laugh

This one is from the courtroom... Sorry that I didn't update this blog as much as I would like to. I have been very busy lately!

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

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And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.