Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Cow Corporation Part 2

My friend Nilesh beat me by posting my part two in my comment below. Anyway, thanks... and here it goes for ...

SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights for six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving
you with ten cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN (pre-Accenture) MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have two cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

4 comments:

flower said...

hei william, my first time to see u in person this morning. u were with your two sons heading to chung hua primary school. i was sending my son to st joe. that was around 6.30am. english conversation in the car between my son and myself went like this while looking for parking space.

me : hey, that's william.
my son : who's that, mum?
me : he is one of the miri
well-known bloggers.
(if i am not wrong)
my son : what blogger?
(i knew what he asked)
me : a person who writes
sincere blog.
my son : sincere blog means what
leh?
me : sincere blog means a
person who writes
anything that is genuine and honest. "no
tipu one".
my son : o
me : hurry, get out of the
car now.
(i got myself a parking
space)

William said...

hahaha... paiseh leh. Next time, wave to me and tell me that you are "flower"!

flower said...

i hope my son will understand by now what does blog mean. this weekend, i shall let him see some of the blogs in the presence of me.

William said...

Ya... my two sons have been pestering me to teach them how to blog!