I have a friend who gave away everything at retirement his son to start his business. He lost everything and now the old folks are penniless! It is very depressing. To add more disappointment, the son "disappeared".
1. Do not retire.
If you're over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you
active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don't
loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you've become a sloppy, listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that
you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble, write your memoirs, and above all, read ...this will keep you alert and
keep Alzheimer's at bay.
2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life.
If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is
reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like
crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Might you kowtow
to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of
you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with
your grandchildren, whom will you side with? Will they even appreciate your
arbitration? Remind your children that silence is not a sign of weakness;
you are merely processing data that is taking longer to complete.
3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets.
If you want to help
your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life's
earnings, singing heroically not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name.
Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of
tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your
opinion and you will be confident about yourself.
4. Don't believe your children's promise to care for you when you grow old.
Priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a
sense of moral obligation when the wife and offspring take top billing in
their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to
show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be
warned that not all children think alike.
5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely
outlive your old BFFs.
Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and
lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against.
Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to
channel your thoughts, experiences and values through so that the lessons
you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.
6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time.
There's
nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because
you reek of baul (camphor chest) or lupa (dirt). Old age or bust, don't
look and smell like a corpse when you're not one yet.
7. Do not meddle in the life of your children.
If they ask for your
counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their
situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you
experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to
develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street
smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read
people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own
terms.
8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy.
There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day
as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.
9. Listen to what others may say.
Do not throw your weight around just
because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a
depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been reversed, make growing
old a fun-filled, pleasant experience for you and your brood.
10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life.
You will definitely leave
everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more
accepting that, sooner, not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song
with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving
God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.
Money - Your last power at old age !
2 comments:
very interesting and true too!
Wenn, you are absolutely right. So, honour your old parents (and parents-in-law) for that is the right thing to do now.
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